All posts by angeliquecongerauthor

Unfair Dress Codes

Life isn’t fair, never was, never will be. People who told you that lied to you. But, sometimes there should be a line drawn.

We saw an older man walking down the street with his shirt stripped off and negligently tucked in a back pocket. I looked at my husband and asked, “Why do men think they can walk around with their shirts off?” His comment, almost concurrent to mine, “I don’t want to see his ‘tits’.” Neither did I.

Men have some audacity, thinking it is fine that they run around half naked, and expect that nothing be said or done. Yet, if a woman were to take off the clothing from her upper body, even in the privacy of her own home, she would be considered a tramp, and loose.

Worse, women who dress in the fashion of the day are targets for men who think they have a right to whistle, touch, feel, or rape them. Why should what a woman wears be an excuse for a man’s bad behavior?

Many times, the only clothing available, usually made by men, is tight fitting with low necks revealing more than anyone really wants to see. Try to find a modest, mid-rising neckline, covering your chest. It isn’t possible. They do not make them. The only way to get modesty in dress is to sew for yourself. I have done that for my dresses, but I don’t want to sew tees, or casual blouses. That costs too much money and too much time.

So, men control what we wear, as “fashion designers,” then they gawk and oogle when we wear what is available to buy. They walk around town, all but naked, and we are enticing them? Probably, because we don’t want to look at their skinny, scrawny bodies, or the rolls hanging over the belt. Even if they are in shape, why should we be forced to see them in such a state of undress?

Women rarely rape men and blame it on the man’s state of dress, or undress. Men should offer women the same courtesy, and allow us to dress as well as we can. Do not blame your rude, crude, and lewd behavior on what we wear. Control yourselves. Women, be fair, and control yourselves, as well.

Eve, First Matriarch coming soon


Do We Remember and Honor Our Past?

Living with a historian is different from living with men of other professions. My historian studies many eras and times, much of it entered into because of genealogical interest, but often focuses on World War II and its implications in our lives today. Any date of interest in that time period is accompanied by movies memorializing the efforts of men fighting for freedom.
Among his studies of the time is what some consider to be a fascination with the Jewish genocide. His claim is his interest is not so much a fascination, but a struggle to understand how people could behave as those men, and women, did—closing their eyes to the horrors inflicted on others, or participating, willingly or not. How could they?
This is a time to memorialize and remember those who gave their lives that we might be free, in all the wars men and women have fought. For many of us, these men and women are our fathers, grandfathers, and uncles, our ancestors. They held on to a belief that freedom of thought and enterprise encompasses great enough value to give a portion of their life, or their death to achieve. These men and women fought with words and weapons to provide that freedom for us, their descendants, and those who came to this beautiful country to find the peace this freedom brings.
As we remember those who gave their all, let us honor their sacrifice. Our lives honor them by doing all we can to maintain the freedom they gave us. Many today do not honor those efforts, those lives. Instead, they blithely give away our freedom to others who would destroy us. For what? Power? Wealth?
There is a faction in the world who desire to destroy us, fearful or jealous of our liberty, our opportunities, our abilities to choose our path. Some have not chosen wisely or well, giving away rights for safety.
Safety is not everything expected. It is good to want relief from danger. Yet, it is in the desire for safety that civilizations give away freedoms and rights. It is in the desire for safe prosperity that gives way to inhuman acts such as occurred in Germany during the second World War.
Have a care. Consider the desirability of the safety offered. Is it really something leading to a better world for all, or just a better world for a few. Too often, when all is said and done, when the effects of the act are truly made visible, laws made for safety and security have done more to destroy our independence and freedom than overt war.
What do you think? Share your opinions.

Ancient Matriarchs: Eve, First Matriarch coming soon.


Are We Losing Our Civilization?

The news around here is filled with the gang shooting in Texas. Two opposing gangs fought, killing many on each side. Ugly stuff is happening all around our nation and the world. Is it a symptom of civilization regression?
It has been said that Rome fell because of a loss of civilization. In the days of the “old west” stories are told of the Native Americans fighting each other, taking prestige and power by touching and killing a member of another tribe. In the days of old Europe, it wasn’t much different, men gained power and importance by the numbers of their enemies they managed to injure or destroy.
Early civilizations were destroyed as they forgot how to enfold and allow differences, turning instead to destruction of differences. When people were seen as possible destroyers of the status quo, when ideas were different and unusual, when looks were strange, those who currently occupied a territory became frightened and fought to maintain. The act of maintaining developed into arguments, fights, battles, and wars.
Do you see this happening in your neighborhood and city now? It is happening in the United States and across the world.
People who know they are right are unwilling to enter into conversations with others who have alternate beliefs. Some are unwilling to accept the right of others to have a differing belief, seeing the alternate ideas as an attack on their firmly held beliefs. This is leading to more than arguments. Fights and battles are ensuing—some in courts, some physical.
Territory has always been contentious. “This is mine!” becomes the battle cry, whether the territory is an object, a piece of earth, or an idea. Unwillingness to accept other’s differences, along with unwillingness to see a need for others to share, or expecting all to accept a piece of what is “mine” leads to wars. Further, seeing something desirable but yet yours, leads to an “I want that, I need that, I deserve that” mentality, without thinking about appropriate means to obtain “that.”
Battles are breaking out across the nation, and world, caused by all of this. More importantly, though, is an unbending intent that only one view is correct and all other views must be obliterated.
Holding on to beliefs is important; knowing your beliefs are right is good. Expecting everyone else in the world to see those beliefs in the same way is ludicrous. No one really sees the same view from the same overlook point. Each is focused on different things. Some see the rocks, others the trees, birds, water, or even clouds in the sky. Each perspective is slightly altered. Arguing about politics or a firmly held belief is like asking “just what color is that ever changing mountain?”
Look at the things that cause argument in your life. Is any of it worth fighting for? Is it worth losing your life for? Perhaps. But, perhaps the other person’s strongly held beliefs are just as important.
What do you think? Are we losing our civilization? Are we going to become a group of fighting tribes again? It could happen.


Why Would Anyone Sacrifice?

A favorite hymn in our church includes the line, “Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven.”[1] It seems a strange thing to think that sacrifice brings blessings.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines sacrifice as:

: the act of giving up something that you want to keep especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone

: an act of killing a person or animal in a religious ceremony as offering to please a god

: a person or animal that is killed in a sacrifice[2]

How will any of these kinds of sacrifice bring blessings of Heaven? Few religions demand a living sacrifice to be offered to please a god in today’s world. More frequently members of society will be found giving up something. Why would anyone give up something precious?

From the beginning of our world, sacrifice has been a part of life, even when it has not included the death of a person or animal. Eve, and then Adam, ate of the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, and were rejected from the Garden of Eden. They gave up a paradise for thorns, thistles, and problems. Because they did, they also gained the blessing of children and family,

Women today continue to sacrifice independence, sleep, relaxation, and often health to give birth to and raise children. Life is never the same after a child becomes part of the family, even before birth. Sacrifice of life and health for children brings blessings unknown by those who have none.

Men sacrifice time to participate in more enjoyable activities when they leave home and family for employment. Fathers often miss the sweet times in a child’s life as they grow. Taking on responsibility of wife and family often removes the opportunity to play or relax as they did when single.

If you look, you can find stories of people of all ages who have determined to help a person or an organization. They give time to help, work to raise money, and write letters and make phone calls to change laws. People sacrifice their time, their money, their good name, their influence, and their things to help a person or a cause.

No animals are sacrificed or burned to please God, but hearts, minds, and attitudes are freely given.

What do you sacrifice? Why would you do that?

[1] LDS Hymns, 27

[2] Mirriam-Webster Dictionary; on-line edition


Abortionists Want it Both Ways

They can’t have it both ways! The inconsistencies of the argument make no sense.

The arguments plied by those supporting abortion make no sense. They argue there is no problem to “dispose” of an unwanted pregnancy. Yet, when confronted with a murder of a pregnant woman, the perpetrator is charged with two murders, the mother and the child.

Arguments for abortion claim that life doesn’t begin until a specific date. They argue it is but a “blob of cells” with little viability. Until a “fetus” is viable, they claim it has no rights.

It has been proven unborn children develop a heartbeat at five weeks and fingernails nine weeks after conception. The brain is growing and the infant can taste at ten weeks. By thirteen weeks, the body is fully developed and often sucks its thumb, and smiles by sixteen weeks.

Unborn children live, with separate DNA and all the necessary body parts. They just need a mother to carry them while they grow big enough to survive away from them.

Unborn children are individuals and deserve the same protection in law as a child after birth. Murder is murder, regardless of age or birth status.


Will Your Children Be Responsible Adults?

A basic law of physics states “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If you push on a something, it will move, or push back. A ball will roll; a wall will push back and hold you up.

The same law applies to interpersonal actions. If you do something, there will always be a response, maybe not something you expected, but there will be a reaction. No action occurs in a vacuum.

When dealing with people, our actions can sometimes be misread, with others feeling everything from humor to anger. It would be easy to suggest that we have no responsibility for the  reactions of others to our actions, but this is not so.

If you smile, you will often receive a smile back, but not always. Sometimes the person you smile at will frown at you or growl. Usually, though, you can expect a smile.

If you hit someone, you can expect two or three things to happen. The person who was hit may cry or curse or be startled. He may fall or wobble. Most likely, he will hit you back.

From the beginning of time, Adam and Eve were given the right to make choices, to act as they chose. They were also held responsible. They chose to eat the forbidden fruit and were not allowed to continue to live in Eden. Their lives were changed for themselves and all their posterity.

It has continued to be the same since then. People make choices and must be responsible for the consequences of those actions. Focus on seeking wealth at the expense of family will distance them until the love and closeness is gone. A choice to be honest in your actions and pay your bills allows one to have good credit and trust from others.

Children must be taught responsibility for their behaviors. Children who do not receive this instruction become difficult to live with. They believe the world owes them a living. Nothing is their responsibility, the fault belongs to others.

Children have a right to learn to be decent adults. Though difficult, parents are expected to ensure their children have opportunities to learn responsibility. If they are not taught, society will suffer from more adults who blame others and expect special attention. For some it is too late. Some may learn. Please teach your children.


Join the Semicolon Project–Save a Life!

In April the mental health community is celebrating the semicolon project. This project hopes to save lives of those with depression, anxiety, or who have contemplated suicide.

Why semicolon? The period ends the sentence, the semicolon suggests there is more still to say and do. Those who struggle with self-harming and/or contemplating suicide need to remember the events of today are not the end of the story. Rather than using a period, add a semicolon.

If you know someone who struggles, or if you are the one who struggles, remember the trials and problems of today are not the end, there is always more to your story.

All stories, including life stories, include challenges and struggles to make them interesting. The story doesn’t end in the middle of the struggle, it would ruin the story. The main character of the story grows and learns as they are challenged.

The same is true of the story of your life. No one lives a “happily ever after” live, who would want to, it would be boring!

We learn as we struggle and we grow as we confront challenges. It starts at birth. Little children fight and struggle to hold their heads up, to crawl, to walk, to eat, to be self-sufficient individuals.

The challenges don’t end as we reach a certain age, they only change. We have learned to walk, to eat without making a huge mess, and to take care of ourselves, but there continues to be challenges to face, trials to overcome. They make our lives interesting and help us to be better.

Even after the time comes that we are called home to live in another existence, we will face challenges as we improve our lives, to become better and grow to be the best we can be, to borrow an Army quote.

Join the semicolon project, for yourself and for your loved ones. Do all you can to prevent the premature periods in the lives of people we love!

Together, we can save a life, or many lives!


Refuse to Check the “Ethnicity” Box!

Each time children register for school, or someone completes employment paperwork, there is an obnoxious little box quietly demanding to be checked, demanding self-revelation: What is your ethnicity or race?

Ethnicity? I know, some think it is Hispanic, or Black, or Eskimo, or Native American, Asian, or some other “color” people. Aren’t we all people? Don’t we all live here in America? What difference does it make where our ancestors came from?

Yes, money is added to a school or organization from the government if sufficient numbers of these “Ethnicities” are included.

All this sounds a bit biased. It has become almost shameful to check that box hiding on the bottom: Caucasian. My check doesn’t add money to coffers of the organization, or give them needed diversity.

Each time I see this box, I want to write in “Human”. Most American families can trace their heritage back to many different countries around the world. But the nasty little box doesn’t want to know your family arrived in America sometime in the 1600s, making you as much an American as about anyone else, except Native Americans. Many can follow their ancestry into multiple countries and more than one continent.

But, look! That naughty little box doesn’t offer “American” or “Descended from Multiple Countries”.

The United States is again becoming divided by “racism” even though it has been proven scientifically that there is no such thing as race. We are all humans. That should be enough. All the honoring of different groups of people sounds good, but in reality, it divides. Identifying differences causes everyone to notice differences. It is more important to recognize similarities.

Our communities need and want to draw together. We want to know our neighbors; we want to have friends around us, people we can visit. We need to be aware of who lives next door so when something that shouldn’t be, it can be stopped. Fear of others, caused by divisions of differences, does not help neighbors to interact.

Join the movement, refuse to mark that obnoxious box!


Will You Let Your Fears Hurt Your Children: Measles and Vaccinations

The big measles outbreak has captured the attention of the country, as even little babies are becoming ill with this disease that should have been extinguished years ago. We were told it was gone, at least from the United States.

In the past decade, there were less than 100 cases of measles in most years. Most of the people who contracted the disease were unvaccinated, and came in contact with people from other parts of the world where vaccinations are either unavailable or unused by the majority of the population. Often the cause is lack of vaccination serum or lack of funds to pay for it.

In some poor countries, mothers walk with their children for miles to join long lines for vaccinations, when offered by a humanitarian group. They understand the severity of the disease.

A vaccination was developed for good reason–children die from the measles and its accompanying fevers. The fevers cause mental disabilities if not controlled. Children have been lost to this “childhood illness”.

Some children can’t handle the vaccination. It makes them sick. But this is just a small percentage of children. Most are protected from the side effects by the vaccination.

In 1998 a British doctor wanted his name in the news, and published a paper suggesting a connection between these vaccinations and autism. Autism causes major problems for parents and children and some parents saw the connection after the report was published. Like wildfire in dry grass, fear of vaccinations spread. Parents stopped ensuring their children were vaccinated, using excuses that it went against their beliefs, most often the belief was a fear of autism.

In earlier years, people who carried measles were not a major problem, for nearly everyone was vaccinated. Now, when someone arrives in the United States carrying the disease, it spreads, and even little babies catch it.

We in the United States have no excuse for not protecting our children. Most of us have insurance that will pay for these essential vaccinations. If not, public health agencies will provide them for little or no cost. I have never heard of a shortage of measles or the more common MMR vaccine. We don’t have to walk miles and stand in long lines.

We live in one of the strongest nations in the world, but we allow fears to keep us from protecting our children. There haven’t been any deaths, yet. With blessings from God, there won’t be, but will there be other challenges because of the high fevers?


Deny the Lie of Abortion

One of the saddest things I read about is the increasing numbers of women, old and young, who accept the lie that abortion is easy. They are using it as a form of birth control. They believe no one is hurt by this process. Unfortunately, abortion isn’t easy, it isn’t birth control, and there is pain, lots of it.

How can it be considered easy to go to a clinic where abortions are performed? It seems easy to make an appointment, drive to the clinic, and follow through with the appointment. I’ve even seen women who make videos of their abortion, smiling and talking about how good it was. I don’t believe it.

I’ve had “D & C” surgeries after miscarriages. It took days for me to heal enough to resume my normal activities. My body hurt. An abortion would hurt at least as bad.

My heart and soul hurt, I was sad to the point of depression. The loss of a child in any situation causes grief, even an unwanted child. I cannot believe a woman would not feel sorrow and depression after giving up a child in that manner.

Even greater pain is felt by the child as it is torn from its mother.

The saddest thing for me is that women have bought into the idea that abortion is acceptable. All life matters. An unborn child is important, at any age. Does it not seem strange that more than 60% of abortions are performed on young, poor, minority girls and women? 30% of abortions occur in black women? Why would we want to lose so many of our children?

As I have been writing about Eve, it seems to me she would be heartbroken to know how many of her grandchildren are “destroying” their children, her grandchildren. Eve rejoiced at the births of her children. The loss of any child would be heart breaking. All children of all “races” are her children, and all children matter to her.

If you know someone who is considering an abortion, do one important thing first. Have an ultrasound; see your child before you destroy her. It will change your mind and save you and the child a lot of pain.

Abortion is not a good form of birth control. The best contraceptive is abstinence. No unwanted child is ever conceived without the act. Prevent the pains of to both child and mother by avoiding unwanted pregnancies.

Abortion is not the best form of birth control. It causes immense pain to the child and both physical and emotional pain to the mother. It is never easy. All lives matter; all children matter, born or unborn. Deny the lie.