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Families, Traditions, and Choices

Parents have always wanted the best for their children. We want them to be beautiful, healthy, and prosperous. We’d like them to be more successful than us. Children want to be more prosperous than their parents. They desire greater success than their parents found. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t.

Throughout history parents have also been saddened when children have left the values held dear. Children become enthralled by foreign ideas, becoming lost to family ways of life and culture. A glance at the past century will illustrate the point.

Cities enticed young people away from the farms and mores of families from the country. A desire for easy living seduced them from the solid values parents believed in from their childhood. Later, things like cars, alcohol, and women beguiled children from standards parents felt were important.

Of course, parents do not begrudge a child’s success. Long ago, children were tied to the land, or required to continue the occupation of their fathers, regardless of the desires or talents of the young. These parents were cheered by any growth and improvement beyond their own. Great stories rarely come from a son continuing in his father’s livelihood. It is when the son or daughter break away and try new things that wonderful tales are shared.

Sometimes, the breaking away from childhood ethics and teachings cause parents great sorrow. The beliefs of a parent are deeply held, not given up because the world changes around them. Through time, a child leaving the religion of their parents has been a time of grief.

Eve felt heartache when her children chose to leave the faith she and Adam learned from their God in the Garden of Eden. Many children chose the darkness of the destroyer rather than the light of the gospel. Since then, this has been a source of sorrow for believing parents of all sects.

When I wrote Eve Remembers, I imagined the following conversation between Eve and her beloved Adam:

  “How did we lose them? We taught them.” I stood and began to pace.

“We taught them,” Adam said, his voice soothing. “Remember, they must have agency to choose, or we will be giving in to Lucifer’s plan. He wants us to force them to obey. We cannot. We must trust that they will return to the light.”

“I know.” I stopped pacing and stood in front of him, looking into his brilliant blue eyes. “I thought the sorrow of children would be in giving birth. Now I find that it comes as they make choices we would rather they would not. It is so much harder now, just watching, not able do anything.”

Today, parents continue to struggle with the sorrow of a child’s rejection of long held beliefs and traditions. Some manage to stay close, glad the child has found joy in the new found religion. Others become estranged, refusing to speak to each other.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could find common ground, building trust and love amongst loved ones?

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Child Birth is “Worth It”

I shared a post on Facebook today, a picture with words describing a mother’s love for her child. The post shares the love we as mothers feel for our children long before they are born. It also suggests we may make mistakes, but we try our best, and will always love our children forever.

It’s true. We love our children long before we see them, often before we are aware of their movements. Even my unexpected child was loved long before he was big enough to let me know all was well inside. My affection and love for all of my children grew long before their births.

God told Mother Eve “I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children. . .”[1] Delivering children is difficult and painful for most women. We struggle through hours of pain as the child moves through the birth canal, finally pushing his head and shoulders out, both are much wider than the opening. Childbirth hurts–no argument from me.

Some women attempt to circumvent the pain with drugs that dampen or hide it. Others endure Caesarian Section deliveries, thinking unconsciousness will eliminate the pain. NOT. It does not work that way. I was surprised by the agony of the after pains brought on after mine. Our bodies must undergo the experience of birth.

Happily, the pain recedes, in our joy of having a little child to love and care for. Ask a new mother if she remembers the pain even a few days after the birth of her beloved child.

In a section of my book, Eve Remembers, Eve shares with her oldest daughter this idea.

“Mama, what is it really like to give birth? I was there when both Abigail and Abri were born. I heard your pains. But, what is child birth really like?”

“You heard me moan, even cry out in pain, for it is given to women, sorrow and pain in childbirth. I will not tell you child birth is easy, you have seen me. It is not, but, the joy after is greater than the pain. Because of the intense pain during the birth of a child, the joy of welcoming a new little life into this world is as exquisite as the pain. It makes pain worthwhile, different from other injuries. As I followed your growth, watched you become lovely young men and women, the pain becomes a nearly forgotten memory, I remember the pain for only a short time after the birth, then the joy of your lives takes over, wiping away the pain.”

“The pain is terrible, and still you can forget? I helped you with Abigail. Her birth was easier than Abri’s. Even then, you worked so hard to move her out of your body. How can you forget such pain?”

“The pain still lingers in my memory, but is swallowed up in the joy of holding her, nursing her, seeing her smile, watching you and your brothers and sisters meet and love her. All that erases the memory of the pain. If I had not forgotten, I would not have had you, or any of your other brothers or sisters after Absalom.” I smiled at her. “Great joy overcomes the pain and sorrow of birth.”

“I think I understand. Even when I know it will hurt to put my hand into the nettles to gather leaves for tea, like the one father gave you after you had Abigail, the pain is worth it to gather them. The value of the leaves is greater than the pain.”[2]

Moms, do you agree? Tell me about your deliveries. Were they forgotten? Did the joy of your little one overcome all the pain? Please share.

If you’d like to know when Eve Remembers will be coming out, feel free to share your name and address with me.

 

[1] KJB, Genesis 3:16

[2] Eve Remembers, Angelique Conger, p. 266

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A War on Families

A war on families attacks from all directions, among all peoples, and in all countries of the world.

This may seem to be a strong statement, but if you consider the attacks from all sides, you will see this is not overly strong. Families are divided from their support structures, losing basic definition, and children are being lost to the murder of abortion.

From the beginning, families consisted of father, mother, and children. Eve and Adam were the first parents who obeyed the command to multiply and replenish the earth. Life was not easy for these first parents, they continued as parents to the end of their long lives.

A mother and a father is required, can’t exist without them. Even though this is truth, and cannot be denied or changed, people are trying to change the composition and structure of families.

Families always have been a father, mother, and children. There are times when this changed, when dad is lost to a battle, or mom is lost in childbirth or other illness. In the centuries before the middle of the 20th, families most often included grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. Industrialization encouraged families in search of employment to separate from the strength and support of extended family. Children became dependent on a parent or neighbors in times of challenge or trouble. No longer were families able to depend on the love and help of nearby extended families when children needed extra attention.

The division of the nuclear family from extended support of grandparents and others leaves many without help in times of economic difficulty. If the challenge is as simple as needing a ride to work or someone to watch the children while parents work, young parents who left the extended family behind find little help, unless kind neighbors step in to help.

Divorce is not a new state in our world, the Savior mentions it in the New Testament, but this sad state of affairs is more common than strong, stable marriages. Couples who are faithful to their spouse and maintain a loyalty to family more than a few years seem to be rare. Even in religious congregations with tenets stressing strong families and stable marriages, divorce is rampant.

Divorce divides families in ugly ways. Children are torn, living for a time with mom, and then must leave to live with dad. At best, parents live close, and are thoughtful of their children, raising them with similar attitudes, in one school, visiting the other parent frequently. In a worst case scenario, parents live long distances away, fighting battles through the children, tearing all kindness and love for the other parent from the hearts of the children. Many variations on these themes litter the relationships of previous families, but in every one a child is deprived of the full love and attention of a parent, often deprived of social and economic stability.

In the past half century, families degenerated to the point that couples “try things out”, bounce from one partner to another, sleeping around, having a one night stand, or forming “relationships” rather than marriage. Children become the “results of a relationship” rather than beloved children brought into a family, wanted by both parents. Often, mothers with multiple children, borne from multiple fathers, find none take responsibility to stay to teach and love their offspring. The once unheard prospect of single mothers and fathers is apparent, sharing children—or not.

Today, men and women living “divergent” lifestyles, claiming to love another of the same sex as husband and wife, are attempting to force a change in the very nature and definition of family, demanding place in the structure. Living together as “couples” is one thing, but the insistence of the appellation of family enforces the contention of families under attack. How can same sex couples possible increase, multiply and replenish the earth, as commanded in Genesis? It is impossible! Children require a father and a mother, not two fathers, not two mothers. Yes, they use means of artificial impregnation, and they can adopt. But to produce children, a mother and a father are required. Other means are biologically impossible in any other situation. Plain and simple.

The vilest attack on families comes in the guise of “liberation” and “choice”. Women are honored by the press when they commit murder of an unborn child. Liberation and choice ended when the woman made the choice of unprotected sex. Abortion is a kind euphemism for an ugly act. Once a child is conceived, the time choice is passed a human exists, and destruction of the child at any stage is murder. Women sometimes lose the opportunity of choice for other children after abortion. Not something to cheer about, unless the hidden agenda is no family, no children.

The attack on families comes from all directions. Families lose cohesion and support brought from living near extended loved ones. Divorce and shacking up force children into single parent homes, with all the attendant challenges. Men and women of the same sex are determined to marry and maintain “families”, though physically impossible for the couple to conceive children. Murder of the unborn called abortion spreads across all peoples in an attempt to “get rid of an unwanted problem”. No people, no nation is exempt. This is worldwide.

Certainly, these are not the only projectiles hurled in an attempt to destroy the family. These are the worst, and the most visible. We cannot solve all these problems. We cannot force others to change. We can stand firm for the family, avoiding the sorrows of broken homes and single parents with all the efforts of our being. We can refuse to abort children, give them to adoption if unable to personally care for them. We can stand with our spouse, determined to continue together, regardless of the struggles. We can stay in touch with children who moved to distant places, and parents, brothers, and sisters from whom we departed. We can reunite in love with grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and grandchildren whenever possible.

Fight back. Save the family. Stand together as families supporting families.

 

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World Wars, Then and Now

World War l began one hundred years ago this month. That signaled the beginning of wars across the world. Few days have passed in the years since then without war in some part of the world. Many parts of the world continue to be torn apart by warring factions, either from within or without their countries. Much of the world even now abhors the deaths of children. Children are flooding across the United States borders because they are fleeing wars in their own countries.

Our world is war-torn. Brother fights against brothers, neighbor kills neighbors. Hate and envy fills the earth. We desire peace, we cry for peace, we hope for peace, we even pray for peace. But nothing works. War continues. Children die. Hate envelopes love; dark swallows the light of peace.
What will change this? Can anything?

Those of us who believe in Christ and His great love maintain a hope for a future of peace, joy, and love. We know it will come, sometime. Until then, we must face the horrors of war. We must see pictures and movies of the inhuman ways men behave in war. We must fear for our lives and the lives of our children. We fear that the things we see on television and in the news will invade our small peace, or the peace we think we have.

Eve saw the beginning of war in her day. Her family broke up, children chose disobedience, chose to follow Lucifer whose desire was to destroy Father’s plan. They became fearful of their neighbor, greedy for what others had, wanting it without working. They sought for power and fame, with a desire to be better than others.

In the search for power and glory, city fought city, people battled people, and kingdom conquered kingdom. Families were separated. Conquered were enslaved. Worse, women were violated and forced into prostitution. People who lost their gods created their own in idols of wood, stone, and precious metals and gems. Sorrow and grief filled their lives, along with war and death.

How different is their world from ours? Wars increase, darkness attempts to reign. And it will continue until Christ returns to rule and reign with peace and the missing love we crave. Adam saw our time and shared what he saw with his beloved Eve. They knew what we would face. They knew our children would face the horrors of war and hate. But they knew peace will come, sometime.
When faced with the loss of her children after Cain fled to Nod, she foresaw their pain and grief. I feel it as I write her story in Eve Remembers. I imagine she would have written a letter to Cain, which went something like this:

“I grieve for you. You, for whom I had brightest hopes, full of love and intelligence. You with the most to gain from Father’s love. You who walked and talked with God. Your opportunity to be one of Father’s brightest, standing for truth, sharing his word in a way your brothers and sisters would understand. Greatness was yours. And extremely blessed.

You gave it all up. You turned away from the light, thinking darkness would suffice. Darkness never has, nor will it ever provide as the light does. You will find when you are no longer needed, darkness will throw you away. Pray to the dark. Pray to your false god. It will never give you light or joy given by Father in Heaven.

You fell for the trap of power and fame. You wanted something you already had, if you needed less urgently. All that the Father has was yours, and you gave it up. For what?

I do not understand.

You fell for lies. Lucifer said he is also a son of God. At one time, yes, but he has fallen. You stand in his presence easily. Does a light shine from him? No, for he is fallen from the grace of God. Can you touch him? No, for he has no body.

He told you there are many gods to obey. Know you not that Father is a jealous God. He is not jealous like you are, not jealous of another’s good deeds and obedience. Knowing light, love and all good comes from Him, He jealously guards His children.

You will be told you can worship gods of wood and stone, gods of beautiful jewels, all created by your hands. Can you believe that things of wood or stone can solve your problems? Will they heal your babies, fight your battles? Provide you with love and tenderness? How could it? You created it. How can it be a god?

To you, woman is a slave, to be trod beneath your feet, to answer to your every command. You beat her, you abuse her. She no longer stands at your side to be protected. Why? To prove you are big and strong? How sad. She could help you in so many better ways, if you would allow her to be a help meet, rather than a servant.

Your women will create goddesses to soothe them, to give them the peace Father would have given them. More false gods will salve their hearts, when the one true God would gladly hear their pleas, and yours, providing light and love.

Oh, my child. I weep for your bad choices, for the results that must follow. I fear that your life, and that of your children, will be filled with trouble, sin, and sorrow.”

Can we manage to overcome our pride and our selfishness long enough to end war? Stand with me against war and for peace. Stand for love. Let’s encourage our leaders to end war. We do not want another World War, yet the world is fast racing toward it.

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The Present is the Place to Live

“The past of each of us is now inflexible. We need to concentrate on what has been called “the holy present,” for now is sacred; we never really live in the future. The holy gift of life always takes the form of now. Besides, God asks us now to give up only those things which, if clung to, will destroy us!”
-Neal A. Maxwell

It is only in the present that choices are made, wrongs repented of or forgiven, hugs are given, lives are lived. Life does not happen it the past. Though it may be forgotten, it is gone, and there is little to be done about it, except learn from mistakes or successes, and beg forgiveness if possible.

The future is similarly untouchable. We can plan for it, hope and dream of it, but not live there. No one lives in past or the future and truly lives.

The present is where life is lived. Here we make choices and deal with the consequences, whether they be good or bad. In the present we stay up too late, or rise from our beds early. We eat too much, or diet too intensely. We love those we are with, or ignore them, and forever wish we had spent more time loving and laughing.

Each moment of our lives is sacred; no second is garbage. Time spent playing silly games alone, or viewing horrible movies is a waste of our precious life. It would be better to choose sharing life with others, new friends or old, family, children, and grandchildren.

It is true that some of that time must be spent working. God placed us on earth to work, to learn, and to learn to love. Yes, work is often unpleasant; it often requires more of our life than we would like to give. It is needful, but it is more needful to remember that it is only a part of our life.

Some believe that sports are important and spend excessive hours following, watching, and thinking about a sport, or many. In moderation, and with loved ones, they are fine, but in excess, they do not build our lives. Other pursuits rob us of valued life.

It has been said that no one lies on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at work, or at a ball game. No one clings to a diploma or trophy. Everyone seeks for the hand of someone who loves them. The greatest sorrow is time not spent loving family.

Do all you possibly can to mend fences, travel distances to be with parents or grandchildren and children, give up time for your hobbies, read to a little one. Make the memories your family will have of you be positive and full of love. Teach them that of all the gifts of God, family is the greatest.

I have seen families torn apart by grudges and silliness. Those days are lost, never to be returned. But, the cause of the grudge can be forgiven, and great rents mended. Children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews need to know their families, need to know they are part of something important. And your family is important.

You may live to be 30, or 100, or somewhere in the middle. What are you doing to make that last breath a time of shared love? It cannot happen in a moment. Love takes time to develop. The love of a new child is instantaneous, but families require decades to grow. Will you have someone to love you, someone to hold your time at the moment you leave this earth to meet your God?

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Our Children Sex Slaves?

This week the news reported that the FBI arrested many men and women across America and freed children who had been enslaved and used in the sex trade—for pornographic movies and as prostitutes. No. This is not other, foreign countries, this is America.

To what depths have we sunk? Our children sold or stolen to be slaves to porn creeps? Our beautiful children? How can this be? Haven’t we been told it is other countries that sell or take children for sex slaves?

Our children deserve better! We all deserve better. No one deserves to have to endure this.

Unfortunately, it seems we all have a portion of the blame. Pornography is rampant everywhere. Our children are confronted by its filth on computers as soon as they learn to ride the internet looking for information. The porn predators make it easy for anyone to stumble on their grossness.

And what do we do? Click away. We rarely complain to our internet server. I know of no one who complains to the FCC. I have not. Have you? We thought to protect their “rights”, we thought someone else would speak. No one has, until lately, now that it is nearly too late.

Porn sites are a given on the internet. “Men’s” magazines have long spewed their smut, and few complained. Most peeked and were titillated. Prostitution has continued for thousands of years.

This does not make any of this right! It is never right to use and abuse another person, for sex or any other purpose. Men and women use each other as objects, as things, rather than remembering they are people with feelings and rights. Prostitution is just one way we use women and young children. Pornography is another. Both seriously hurt our children.

There are many plagues affecting the population of the earth, but pornography is one of the worst. Revelations told of plagues to affect the earth in these days. Another prophet, Mormon, seeing our day proclaimed:
        “Turn, all ye Gentiles, from your wicked ways; and repent of your evil doings, of your lyings and deceivings, and of your whoredoms, and of your secret abominations. . .”

I have heard many prostitutes proudly proclaim that they are “part of the oldest profession on earth.” I beg to differ. The oldest profession is farming, Adam and Eve participated in growing crops, farming for a living—a profession. Beyond that, Adam was God’s Priest. Those who try to push sexual perversion are in direct opposition to God’s laws, and are hurting themselves and those they force into participation.

What can we do? Support the FBI in locating more of these perverse people and groups who have enslaved women and children. Call the FCC and complain about the smut in movies, on television, and on our computers. Join together with others who fight against this garbage, and let’s end the nonsense!

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