When I opened my writing program, Scrivener, today, it opened to a scene in my first book, Eve, First Matriarch. Their first two children, a son and daughter, determined to follow the Destroyer, and leave their parents to live elsewhere. Their decision caused Eve great pain and sorrow, yet she could not force them to stay. That would mean she would follow the Destroyer—to force beloved children to do something.
“They stood before us, prepared to leave and make a life of their own, all while Absalom raged at Adam and me because we ‘forced them to leave’ because we were unable to ‘understand and accept’ their position. I suppose we did, for we expected obedience to Jehovah’s commandments. Neither Adam nor I returned their insults.”
I suppose most parents with adult children will find themselves in this position at some time, their adult children choosing a path we would not have them choose. The greatest difficulty rises in deciding how to act as the parent. Do you hate and ignore them for choosing something so vastly different from your choices? Do you follow them in their alternate choices? Do you try to force them to continue in the path you would choose for them? Do you love them, regardless of their choices?
Hate and force are tools of the Destroyer. He wants all of us to be like him, hateful, angry, depressed, and resentful. He tried to force our actions from the beginning, believing it to be easier to force us to choose a path than allow us to choose our own. If we force others, even to do something we believe to be right, we are choosing to follow the Destroyer, rather than a God of Goodness.
Following a child into other paths may be a correct decision. They may have found a path that leads to happiness far beyond the path you have chosen. Or, it may be totally wrong. If you choose to follow your children, spend a lot of time thinking about the choice and be absolutely certain you are not giving up something better to be with them.
In any case, I believe it is important to continue loving your children, regardless of the path they choose, even if it is totally opposite to your choices. Love them unconditionally. Let them know you love them and will always love them. Love binds families together, draws them close, allows them to see past the differences and accept each member as someone important and necessary.
Eve loved these children, and others who left the protection of their closeness with God. When a child returned to visit, they were welcomed with open arms and great love.
Do you have a need to open you heart and offer love to a member of your family who has offended you, or followed a different path in life? How can you work to resolve the differences and draw them and yourself back into the family circle of love?
I look forward to your thoughts.