Tag Archives: responsibility

Will You Give In to This?

20141211_163220War breeds hate and fear. Since the bombings in France last Friday, along with those in Beirut, fear and hatred is center stage. Two terrorists are still at large and refugees continue to pour across borders from Syria. (It seems at this rate, all the Syrians will have run from the war or blown themselves up in a suicide bombing.) Meanwhile, Americans argue over the safety of accepting refugees into our states. (I wonder where these refugees are finding the money to pay for the fight.)

I have seen posts on Facebook, suggesting this is the beginning of World War III. Others compare the actions of the terrorists to the actions of Hitler. I see the possibilities in each of these suggestions. Hatred is stirring up among the nations of the earth.

Horrors of war have spread through the world over the past two hundred years, to the point no day goes by without a war somewhere in the world. In most wars, citizens have fled the violence of raging war, seeking safety in other countries. Sometimes they found safety, sometimes not. It is hard to forget the ship of Jewish refugees returned from the United States to Europe, where half were victims of the Holocaust.

Thousands of Christians suffered from prejudice in those same wars, many slain, many struggled for acceptance in a new country. Thousands of Muslims and Hindus died in the battle for India. The challenge of refugees has been a problem from the beginning of wars. Men and women of every country facing war have sought refuge for their families in safer countries.

In all the years of our earth, the commandment has been to love and serve our neighbors. Who is my neighbor? Only the family living next door? Only those living in my community, state or country? Only those of my religion or particular shade of skin? I think not. I think all religious leaders advise their followers to show love to others and give service.

Not all refugees are terrorists; most are fleeing from terrorist activities. We cannot deny a group of people refuge because of their nation of birth or their religion. That would be like fearing all white men are bombers because Timothy McVeigh bombed the federal building in Oklahoma City.

The refugees need our help; they need a home free of violence and fear. They do not have a right to demand services or benefits. If there is a place for them, there certainly is a home for our veterans; if medical care and jobs are available for refugees, our veterans are as needy. These refugees can have homes, jobs, medical care, and other life necessities in line with others who are also needy.

Each one should pass a rigid background test, as much as is possible for one who has left everything behind in a battle torn home. Each should plan to accept life as it is in the United States, including our flag, our diet, and our lifestyle. They can do the same as many others, who eat what they choose without causing trouble for others; worship as they choose, without demanding special rights.

The United States has accepted people from all over the world, accepting their religions, their dress style, their choice of diet. We will continue to be accepting, though that becomes difficult when refugees and others who migrate to the United States demand we change and forget all that makes us unique.

Wars have been a part of the history of earth from almost the beginning of time. Eve saw her children fight wars, felt their hate, and probably accepted their refugees. These were her grandchildren, after all. She loved them all, but expected them to obey the laws of her community. Can we not expect the same of our refugees?

Will you be accepting of the refugees if they move into your neighborhood? Will you bring them cookies and casseroles? Will you befriend them? What will you do if they move next door to you? Please let me know.

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Hatred Is NOT Worth the Effort!

20150810_210057I have been thinking of the hatred filling our country lately. There seems to be strife between people of different “colors”, and nations. Our beautiful, welcoming nation, that has long invited others to  join in building the creativity of our people, now rejects the poor and needy, those who have ideas that would instill greatness within us. In some ways I understand, for the idea of Sharia Law in our free land frightens me. However, how can we deny help to those who honestly flee hatred and war? How can we blame people who fled a mafia controlled land, accepting our dredges, for all that has become bad here?

“A mighty change of heart necessitates a mighty change of thinking . . . we become our thoughts and we cannot change ourselves without thinking.” —Mary Ellen Edmunds

Hatred for one or many only brings grief to the one who hates. Have you ever felt hatred for one who caused you pain or spoke to you with unkindness or in a demeaning manner? Your hatred causes you pain, not the other person. It is not worth the pain and effort required to hate. Give up your hatred. It isn’t worth the time and energy. Revenge is not worth the pain it causes. The desire for repayment is not worth the pain it causes.

You spend your time worrying and thinking of the one who wronged you. You focus on the pain, the hardness you feel. And the one who caused the hatred? He most often goes merrily along, living his life with no thought or worry for your pain. Usually he has no knowledge or thought of your pain; less of your hatred. It is your life that shrinks, whose time is wasted, storing the pain.

On that day you finally meet your offender again, he will often not have remembered the offense and will have good feelings for you. His life has not been changed, only yours.

When you change your thinking and give up the pain you hold dear, you find time and a lightness of heart you forgot existed. Your life becomes joyful again.

May I suggest, “turn the other cheek” as the Christians would say, or allow Karma to repay the debt? Revenge and hatred isn’t worth the pain.

I just wrote about a man who had committed a terrible sin. As he confronts the woman he threatened years later, I thought he would attempt the same awful act upon her. Instead, she honestly forgave him of his crime against her. His actions were low and small; he suffered significantly for them, banned from his home community, lost his wife, and spent years starving. She felt compassion for him. He changed his thoughts, began to believe he could live happily among his people, and changed his ways, becoming an honorable man.

There is one Eve never forgave, never trusted. The Destroyer, Satan. In his every action, he caused pain and sorrow for Eve and every other. He convinced beloved children to leave home and the beliefs taught by their father. He put it into the hearts of a loving son to kill his brother. Satan caused Eve incredible grief.

In all, however, she did not hate Satan for beguiling her, though his actions were absolutely wrong. I firmly believe the act of partaking of the fruit of the Tree of Good and Evil was necessary;  it was not Satan’s right to offer the fruit, to convince Eve of her need to eat it. That was for another. The eating brought Adam and Eve into this world, allowing them to obey the greater command, to “multiply and replenish the earth.” Eve new this was needed, it was better to suffer in this world of sin and sorrow, and have an opportunity to have children. We, my friends, are direct results of that decision.

I do not know how to protect our marvelous free nation from the hatred that seems to be spawned by Sharia Law and others. I do not know the answers. I do know there must be a way, while maintaining our integrity. If you have ideas, feel free to share.

Whom do you feel a need to forgive? Is there someone for whom your hatred has grown too large? Take a moment and consider the gift of forgiveness. If you like, I will be happy to hear of your journey.

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What Do We Do About the Syrian Refugees?

Pictures of a drowned Syrian child have brought the plight of Syrian refugees who are fleeing the violence and battles in Syria. It has become a flood of men, women, and children, struggling to find their way to Germany, or any other country that may accept them.

Families are spending everything they have to buy a spot in a smuggler’s flimsy boat. So many people fill these boats, people seem to be hanging off the edges. Is it any wonder many of these boats sink and the passengers drown? I have not seen it yet, but I would bet the smugglers wear life jackets, while the passengers find none available.

The trickle of Syrians running from war usually land in Greece, who is already struggling financially. It is no wonder they prefer the refugees move on to other countries. Other countries see the flood of these people and wonder how they will manage to support the thousands of refugees. There is no way one country can absorb that many people without economically drowning.

I have heard the suggestion that some of these refugees be brought to the United States. I struggle with this idea. My heart grieves when I see mothers and children in holding areas. I cried with the rest of the world when I saw the little 3-year-old who drowned. I fear the families who seek protection will also include hidden terrorists, who hate America and our values.

How sad the other Muslim countries surrounding Syria refuse to accept any of these refugees. Is it not part of their culture, their religion, that they should help the poor and the needy? It is part of our country and the Christian religion.

All things were held in common during the time of Eve and Adam. No women or children who were willing to live and work in their communities were prevented from become full members, were fed, clothed, and housed. Some of their children chose not to live as expected. They left and wars eventually occurred. If those refugees wanted to become part of the community in which Adam and Eve lived, they would have been required to follow the laws of the community. Certainly, Eve would have hoped the women and children would find a safe home away from the wars.

America has been much like the home of Eve and Adam. Refugees have been welcomed with the expectation that they live by the laws of our land. Unfortunately, some of those refugees have come to us, not planning to obey the laws and help continue to keep America great, but rather to find a way to undermine our laws and our ways of life.

If they hate us, they should stay away. If they choose to obey laws; support our culture, willing to accept the standards of that culture; and work hard to take responsibility to support themselves and their families, let them come. Otherwise, let them return to Syria, or go to one of the other Muslim countries.

What do you think about the refugee problem? Shall we invite the refugees to live in your community? Please comment.

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Will Your Children Be Responsible Adults?

A basic law of physics states “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If you push on a something, it will move, or push back. A ball will roll; a wall will push back and hold you up.

The same law applies to interpersonal actions. If you do something, there will always be a response, maybe not something you expected, but there will be a reaction. No action occurs in a vacuum.

When dealing with people, our actions can sometimes be misread, with others feeling everything from humor to anger. It would be easy to suggest that we have no responsibility for the  reactions of others to our actions, but this is not so.

If you smile, you will often receive a smile back, but not always. Sometimes the person you smile at will frown at you or growl. Usually, though, you can expect a smile.

If you hit someone, you can expect two or three things to happen. The person who was hit may cry or curse or be startled. He may fall or wobble. Most likely, he will hit you back.

From the beginning of time, Adam and Eve were given the right to make choices, to act as they chose. They were also held responsible. They chose to eat the forbidden fruit and were not allowed to continue to live in Eden. Their lives were changed for themselves and all their posterity.

It has continued to be the same since then. People make choices and must be responsible for the consequences of those actions. Focus on seeking wealth at the expense of family will distance them until the love and closeness is gone. A choice to be honest in your actions and pay your bills allows one to have good credit and trust from others.

Children must be taught responsibility for their behaviors. Children who do not receive this instruction become difficult to live with. They believe the world owes them a living. Nothing is their responsibility, the fault belongs to others.

Children have a right to learn to be decent adults. Though difficult, parents are expected to ensure their children have opportunities to learn responsibility. If they are not taught, society will suffer from more adults who blame others and expect special attention. For some it is too late. Some may learn. Please teach your children.

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Will Your Children Be Responsible Adults?

A basic law of physics states “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” If you push on a something, it will move, or push back. A ball will roll; a wall will push back and hold you up.

The same law applies to interpersonal actions. If you do something, there will always be a response, maybe not something you expected, but there will be a reaction. No action occurs in a vacuum.

When dealing with people, our actions can sometimes be misread, with others feeling everything from humor to anger. It would be easy to suggest that we have no responsibility for the  reactions of others to our actions, but this is not so.

If you smile, you will often receive a smile back, but not always. Sometimes the person you smile at will frown at you or growl. Usually, though, you can expect a smile.

If you hit someone, you can expect two or three things to happen. The person who was hit may cry or curse or be startled. He may fall or wobble. Most likely, he will hit you back.

From the beginning of time, Adam and Eve were given the right to make choices, to act as they chose. They were also held responsible. They chose to eat the forbidden fruit and were not allowed to continue to live in Eden. Their lives were changed for themselves and all their posterity.

It has continued to be the same since then. People make choices and must be responsible for the consequences of those actions. Focus on seeking wealth at the expense of family will distance them until the love and closeness is gone. A choice to be honest in your actions and pay your bills allows one to have good credit and trust from others.

Children must be taught responsibility for their behaviors. Children who do not receive this instruction become difficult to live with. They believe the world owes them a living. Nothing is their responsibility, the fault belongs to others.

Children have a right to learn to be decent adults. Though difficult, parents are expected to ensure their children have opportunities to learn responsibility. If they are not taught, society will suffer from more adults who blame others and expect special attention. For some it is too late. Some may learn. Please teach your children.

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A War on Families

A war on families attacks from all directions, among all peoples, and in all countries of the world.

This may seem to be a strong statement, but if you consider the attacks from all sides, you will see this is not overly strong. Families are divided from their support structures, losing basic definition, and children are being lost to the murder of abortion.

From the beginning, families consisted of father, mother, and children. Eve and Adam were the first parents who obeyed the command to multiply and replenish the earth. Life was not easy for these first parents, they continued as parents to the end of their long lives.

A mother and a father is required, can’t exist without them. Even though this is truth, and cannot be denied or changed, people are trying to change the composition and structure of families.

Families always have been a father, mother, and children. There are times when this changed, when dad is lost to a battle, or mom is lost in childbirth or other illness. In the centuries before the middle of the 20th, families most often included grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. Industrialization encouraged families in search of employment to separate from the strength and support of extended family. Children became dependent on a parent or neighbors in times of challenge or trouble. No longer were families able to depend on the love and help of nearby extended families when children needed extra attention.

The division of the nuclear family from extended support of grandparents and others leaves many without help in times of economic difficulty. If the challenge is as simple as needing a ride to work or someone to watch the children while parents work, young parents who left the extended family behind find little help, unless kind neighbors step in to help.

Divorce is not a new state in our world, the Savior mentions it in the New Testament, but this sad state of affairs is more common than strong, stable marriages. Couples who are faithful to their spouse and maintain a loyalty to family more than a few years seem to be rare. Even in religious congregations with tenets stressing strong families and stable marriages, divorce is rampant.

Divorce divides families in ugly ways. Children are torn, living for a time with mom, and then must leave to live with dad. At best, parents live close, and are thoughtful of their children, raising them with similar attitudes, in one school, visiting the other parent frequently. In a worst case scenario, parents live long distances away, fighting battles through the children, tearing all kindness and love for the other parent from the hearts of the children. Many variations on these themes litter the relationships of previous families, but in every one a child is deprived of the full love and attention of a parent, often deprived of social and economic stability.

In the past half century, families degenerated to the point that couples “try things out”, bounce from one partner to another, sleeping around, having a one night stand, or forming “relationships” rather than marriage. Children become the “results of a relationship” rather than beloved children brought into a family, wanted by both parents. Often, mothers with multiple children, borne from multiple fathers, find none take responsibility to stay to teach and love their offspring. The once unheard prospect of single mothers and fathers is apparent, sharing children—or not.

Today, men and women living “divergent” lifestyles, claiming to love another of the same sex as husband and wife, are attempting to force a change in the very nature and definition of family, demanding place in the structure. Living together as “couples” is one thing, but the insistence of the appellation of family enforces the contention of families under attack. How can same sex couples possible increase, multiply and replenish the earth, as commanded in Genesis? It is impossible! Children require a father and a mother, not two fathers, not two mothers. Yes, they use means of artificial impregnation, and they can adopt. But to produce children, a mother and a father are required. Other means are biologically impossible in any other situation. Plain and simple.

The vilest attack on families comes in the guise of “liberation” and “choice”. Women are honored by the press when they commit murder of an unborn child. Liberation and choice ended when the woman made the choice of unprotected sex. Abortion is a kind euphemism for an ugly act. Once a child is conceived, the time choice is passed a human exists, and destruction of the child at any stage is murder. Women sometimes lose the opportunity of choice for other children after abortion. Not something to cheer about, unless the hidden agenda is no family, no children.

The attack on families comes from all directions. Families lose cohesion and support brought from living near extended loved ones. Divorce and shacking up force children into single parent homes, with all the attendant challenges. Men and women of the same sex are determined to marry and maintain “families”, though physically impossible for the couple to conceive children. Murder of the unborn called abortion spreads across all peoples in an attempt to “get rid of an unwanted problem”. No people, no nation is exempt. This is worldwide.

Certainly, these are not the only projectiles hurled in an attempt to destroy the family. These are the worst, and the most visible. We cannot solve all these problems. We cannot force others to change. We can stand firm for the family, avoiding the sorrows of broken homes and single parents with all the efforts of our being. We can refuse to abort children, give them to adoption if unable to personally care for them. We can stand with our spouse, determined to continue together, regardless of the struggles. We can stay in touch with children who moved to distant places, and parents, brothers, and sisters from whom we departed. We can reunite in love with grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and grandchildren whenever possible.

Fight back. Save the family. Stand together as families supporting families.

 

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Live Honorably and Plan for the Future

We never know which moment will be our last. It could be this one, or any one of the next hundred years. Honor comes from standing tall, living each moment strong, as though it is your last. All the while, we must plan for life to continue.

I remember the days my sweetheart had responsibility for national safety in his job with the United States Navy. He was gone from our family frequently, and at odd hours of the day and night. Life for him was not easy. Though no active battle was fought, he participated in the cold war, protecting us from very real possible attack. For many long hours, he was found at his assigned post. In his 21 years, we could count on one hand the years we had Christmas or New Year’s Day together for the whole day.

I, too, was at my post, maintaining our home and nurturing our children. There were many lonely days and nights, days when the children attempted to be quiet because “daddy’s sleeping.” Special days were spent without daddy. I took the children to the zoo and birthday parties, and church, and many other places, alone. He was working or sleeping to go back to work. I nurtured, I waited, and welcomed the time we were together.

Through it all, we had plans for the future—retire, get new jobs, learn to live a civilian life, watch our children grow, and grow old together. Of course, there were other goals, other dreams, other plans. Some, we managed to achieve. Some we decided were not worth pursuing, and new goals and dreams were set.

Life is never easy. Some moments seem to be wonderful and smooth, but those moments don’t last. On days and years when life is less than wonderful, one is tempted to bury the head in the pillow and stay in bed. But life continues, and we must claw out of bed and depression into the bright light of day and responsibilities.

Some give up, stop planning, stop dreaming, stop trying. The next years, even decades of their lives are sad, undirected. Each of us is responsible for our own lives. Often, we are responsible for much more than that. We have families, religion, neighbors, and work. These responsibilities call to us.

I like the quote by CS Lewis: “Be found at one’s post, living each day as though it were our last, but planning as though our world might last 100 years.” Regardless of our station in life, we have responsibilities, a “post to man.” Giving up is not a choice. We live our best, never knowing if Father in Heaven will call us home. We attempt to live honorably, with hope and trust.

We are created with the desire to live; we do all we can to hang onto this dear life. We may fear the change brought by our moving to the next life, or may look forward to it. Either way, we find ourselves doing all we can to continue breathing. I have seen older folks struggle to breathe, to maintain life even when that life had little “quality,” supported by intense mechanical means.

As I have been considering the life of Eve and Adam I have wondered that they could maintain a zest for life over their hundreds of years. Events that would drag a lesser person to the depths of sorrow and depression were overcome; loss became stepping stones to greater life. These noble parents did more than just survive; they lived life joyfully, embracing new situations, welcoming opportunities to learn. Eve stood at her post, her home, whether working beside Adam to subdue the earth, or wait for him as he traveled to preach the Gospel of the Savior to their children. Together they lived life with verve, to the fullest, planning to live many years, making goals, loving family.

Can we do any less? Stand firm at the post we have been assigned. Live life fully as though it may be our last. And through it all, plan to live a long and happy life. Sounds easy? Maybe, but it is possible. It can be done. Live honorably. Love your neighbor and yourself. Plan for the future. Move forward always doing your very best. In this, we can hope for a better life in the next world with our Father.

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