Category Archives: choice and accountability

Fear

This last two weeks have been hard for me. No, no problems with rain or snow. Lucky me, I live in the desert southwest. Instead, I’ve been fighting my own personal demons.

Have you ever worked hard on something personal to you, and then, when it is time to share, held back in fear? I have.

I have worked over two years on my first book, writing and rewriting it. I’ve had others I trust read it and worked to make it as good as I know how. Now it’s time to edit.

I found the courage to find editors who gave me sample edits and hired an editor. I sent it off.

And now. Now I’m frozen in fear. Will it be good enough? Will I need to rewrite it all again? Are there big problems with it?

Other rough drafts need to be worked on, so I can have more than one book available for you to read. I have such big plans. But this past week I’ve been frozen in fear, unable to do very much.

I’ll get past it. I’m strong, and my other books will be written. I’ll survive the edits, rewrite again, and again, if necessary, so I can have the best book I can write for you to read. This book and all the others I have planned.

Eve must have had days of fear. Many times she could not stay frozen long, for if she didn’t do the work, it would not be done. I think of her now, and take courage. Onward.

When do you become frozen? How long has it held you back? Share with me and give me hope.

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How is Yours?

The news is filled with sadness. Good men and women are killed. A police officer was shot and killed when he showed up to investigate an automobile accident. Homes are invaded, robbing and killing the occupants. Angry people decide the only way to solve a problem is with a weapon. Those who are involved in taking the life of another have allowed their soul to become dark somewhere along the way.

20150810_210057Do you know someone with a darkening soul? Someone you fear to be near for very long?

I am rereading my current work in progress, a spin-off book from the original series called Lost Children of the Prophet. As I read, I found a selection I’d like to share.

A short set up: Two young women, teenagers, are discussing a man at a recent party.

       “His soul is black as the crow sitting out there on the tree          branch.”

       Tawna  felt herself shiver and leaned back in her chair. “He seems so nice, spoke to father, asked to be introduced. We even danced—and he kept his hands to himself. No grasping or groping. It was a pleasure to dance without all that. And you say his soul is black?”

         “It’s a show,” Ziv said. “He wants something and act a way to conceal his real intentions.”

Many years ago, in Gibraltar, we met a man we later learned was a murderer. Even our little daughter could tell he had a black soul. I try to stay from that kind of darkness. Better, still, I have felt light in the souls of many others.

Sometimes we have a “gut reaction” to another, immediately loving them, or knowing to be on guard. Is that the color of their soul?

Some people, men and women, have ulterior motives, act nice to your face, while saying nasty things to your back. Politicians are like that, say what they think you want to hear to get your vote. After they are elected, they change, most often, significantly. Do you recognize their darkening souls?

Others souls, too, darken because of their business activities, choosing to pursue success and gain. Forgetting to be of service to others, they do all they can to “climb to the top,” regardless of who is hurt.

Eve’s soul was filled with light, as was her beloved husband, Adam. In contrast, Cain, their son, found his soul darkening as he listened to the destroyer. It blackened, even more, when he chose to kill his brother.

Beware of your own soul. Are you doing something that may darken it? Who have you met with a darker soul? Who do you know who has a soul filled with light? How is yours?

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Do You Have a Power Ball Plan?

pabloThe news is full of the current Power Ball drawing. If you choose the correct numbers, you can win a ridiculous amount of money. It’s a gigantic IF! Lines snaking down the block and around the corner form at stores on the borders of states that don’t allow power ball. Crazy people, taking a chance, hoping to get a lot of something for not much.

Everyone has a plan for the money: helping others, helping animals, buy a new house, pay the bills, the hopes and choices are endless. Someone will eventually get their dream, and their life will be changed. A huge amount will be “donated” to the government in taxes. People will ask for a handout, others will cheat and try to steal some or all of it. Lifestyles will change, and not all for the better.

All this hubbub is interesting to watch. I doubt I’ll know the winner, nor know how that life is changed. I don’t really care. I am happy with what I have.

I guess I have my own power ball in the making. My week has been spent finalizing my first book, Eve, First Matriarch, for a professional edit. I’m down to choosing an editor, a daunting process. I don’t want to win the power ball, I’m not even going to buy a ticket. I’m hoping that when I publish someone will read and enjoy it, share with others they like it, and purchase the next one. That will be my winning ticket.

Eve’s story has been a joy to write; I’ve learned much from and about her. I’m hoping you will like my writing enough to enjoy her story, when it is finally ready.

Have you bought a ticket or do you have another plan to make your life happy?

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Are You on the Dark Side or In the Light?

Holiday_8The force is with many this week as they wait impatiently for the new movie. I wish it was with me. No, my book isn’t ready to be published yet, but I’m closer. I wish I was ready to share the good news, but, not yet.

During this time of year, I wonder if the “force” shown in the Star Wars movies is the force we need to be thinking about. It may be, if you think about it. The dark side, indicating the hate and fear the world is feeling. We see crazies hurting others en mass. I heard arguments and cursing in stores and from inside homes. The dark side is strong in this part of the world.

On the other hand, I see many people giving of their small resources to help the less fortunate. Children receive shoes and socks, because customers of a business donated a dollar. Food, bicycles, toys, trees, and a multitude of other gifts have been donated so there will be less children who wake up on Christmas morning with no tree and no gifts.

Eve would tell you the dark side is caused by the destroyer, he who beguiled her. His purpose is to cause hatred and sorrow for as long as possible. She would also tell you that the real reason for joy and kindness comes from the Savior of the World, He who left His place as a God to redeem us all. She and Adam knew He would come, taught their children to wait for the glorious event.

We now wait for His return. Until He comes, stay in the light.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakuh, Happy Holidays.

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Don’t Let This Happen to You

20150810_210057It’s amazing how things can change for you in seconds. I woke up in the middle of the night and bumped my arm on my nightstand drawer. No big deal. Because I have the thin skin of a hundred year old, I bled. I stumbled into the bathroom an covered it with bandages.

The tiny gouges were infected two days later, my arm swelling and red two days later. Now, after a second trip to the ER, I’m admitted to the hospital to receive IV antibiotics. Difficult for me, as I’m allergic to many antibiotics. (This is a poor excuse for a late blog.)

As I think of my silly little injury, that could be life threatening, I think of the people who have gone about their lives, attending concerts, Christmas parties, eating in restaurants, and other common events, only to have their lives disrupted by crazed people seeking infamy in deaths of others. I wonder if those who died remembered to kiss their loved ones good-bye as they left that day. Did they leave for work with an argument on their lips?

Eve’s life changed in moments when she chose to marry Adam and live on this earth—yes, I believe she had that choice. That time was a time of challenges and joys. Later, her life changed again when Cain killed Abel, this was not a happy change. Each time she was required to decide to make the best of the changes.

We never know when our lives will be changed suddenly. Though it may be difficult, remember to leave your loved ones with love rather than in anger. Don’t be the one to mourn if your life changes suddenly.

I’d love for you to share your tales of sudden life changing events. Please share, here in the comments section, or direct to my email: [email protected]

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A Disturbing Trend

Greatest HeatThere is a disturbing trend in schools lately. Though there is a clear Constitutional separation of church and state, children have not been allowed to pray in school for years, not allowed to read the bible, nor even perform a Christmas program of songs and dance. When I taught music in a school in Hawaii, I could not put on a Christmas Program for the parents, we had to call it a Holiday Program, and receive special permission to include a song about the birth of the Savior, because that is the song the children determined they wanted to sing.

Lately, however, that separation is only enforced for Christians. Islamic teachings are taught, insisting that students know all their tenets. Progressive humanists, or atheists, preach their particular religion, defaming and failing students who refuse to deny their God. What happened to equal rights? What happened to separation of church and state? What happened to freedom of religion? What happened to our constitution? Is that freedom only given to Islam and atheists?

There is no such thing as cold, only absence of heat; no darkness, only absence of light, as taught by Einstein when confronted by an atheist professor. I argue atheism is on the far end of the religious scale, opposite from a strong knowledge there is a God. It is an absence of religion. These scales vary from one end of extreme heat to no heat; extreme light to no light; and strong belief in God (religion) to the opposite end, no belief in any god (no religion). Atheists are on the far end of the religion spectrum, but still on the scale.

When an atheist forces their non-religion on a group of school children, as a middle school teacher in Texas did recently, that teacher is as at fault as an Islamic believer forcing their teachings on Christian students or atheists, or a Christian forcing their teachings on atheists or Islamic students. None of these are legal, none are appropriate, none are moral.

Eve lived in a time when things were more black and white. Her children accepted Jehovah, or they chose to follow Lucifer. There were no other religions, then, only following Jehovah or not. Other religions sprang up, suggested by the Destroyer. Men and women created idols to worship, found other gods and goddesses to worship.

Eve taught her children to read, to write, and to obey Jehovah. There was nothing to stop her, no government body, no one from outside pushing their beliefs on her. Hers was the first home school, and she taught her love for Jehovah. The only safety we have for our children is to teach them ourselves. Schools will not do it.

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Into Each Life a Little Rain Must Fall

20150706_184237Rainfall is necessary, bringing life-giving water. Nothing can live without water. Rain is falling somewhere today. Some parts of the world are wishing they didn’t get so much, like South Carolina last week; others, like we in the western United States, wish it would rain more, and more often.

Every cell in our bodies requires water. We lose about a quart of water a day, which must be replaced. We can live only about a week without replacing that water. Plants and animals require water to live. Have you ever forgot to water a houseplant? It doesn’t take long before it will wilt and die.

A friend of mine was complaining about something that happened in her life. My flip response was, “Into each life a little rain must fall.” We need rain, and its resulting water. We also need some “rain” in our lives, coming in struggles and trials. As our arms and legs require exercise to stay healthy, our emotional lives need to be exercised.

I have seen memes suggesting we need to walk away from our problems. We need to be careful about that. There is no reason to allow another to abuse us or walk all over us. On the other hand, I believe we should embrace life challenges as a means to develop our emotional “muscles.”

Our “rain” can be anything from a frown from a loved one to a severe sickness and/or death of a loved one. Different emotional muscles are developed in these situations. We may need to learn patience, face loss, or see the opportunities in change. None of those “muscles” are easy to develop, nor are any of these situations. No one likes the pain of growing; certainly not the challenge and trials that give us the opportunity to develop.

As we open ourselves to challenges, our emotional muscles will develop faster. Emotional growth doesn’t always come easy. Sometimes it comes in gentle rains; others, it falls in floods. Each allows greater emotional growth.

I wondered about Eve. She and Adam faced trials through much of their lives. Sometimes they were the gentle rain of learning to survive in a new world, learning to build a fire, learning to cook, or learning how to grow plants. Other times, the trials were along the lines of a flash flood, as in when children listened to the enticings of the Destroyer and left the safety and security of their family home and the truths of God as taught by Adam. I am certain they struggled against the currents, but by holding tight to the life saving faith in God, they withstood the floods, returning safely home to Father in Heaven.

Our lives are different than theirs. The Destroyer is fighting his last battles, he rains floods of trials on all he believes can be swayed. Even so, we must stand firm, as Eve did, choosing to continue learning, continue growing, until the end.

What trials are raining on your life today? Will you stand firm and learn, or is this one you will win by walking away? I’d love to hear your story.

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Hatred Is NOT Worth the Effort!

20150810_210057I have been thinking of the hatred filling our country lately. There seems to be strife between people of different “colors”, and nations. Our beautiful, welcoming nation, that has long invited others to  join in building the creativity of our people, now rejects the poor and needy, those who have ideas that would instill greatness within us. In some ways I understand, for the idea of Sharia Law in our free land frightens me. However, how can we deny help to those who honestly flee hatred and war? How can we blame people who fled a mafia controlled land, accepting our dredges, for all that has become bad here?

“A mighty change of heart necessitates a mighty change of thinking . . . we become our thoughts and we cannot change ourselves without thinking.” —Mary Ellen Edmunds

Hatred for one or many only brings grief to the one who hates. Have you ever felt hatred for one who caused you pain or spoke to you with unkindness or in a demeaning manner? Your hatred causes you pain, not the other person. It is not worth the pain and effort required to hate. Give up your hatred. It isn’t worth the time and energy. Revenge is not worth the pain it causes. The desire for repayment is not worth the pain it causes.

You spend your time worrying and thinking of the one who wronged you. You focus on the pain, the hardness you feel. And the one who caused the hatred? He most often goes merrily along, living his life with no thought or worry for your pain. Usually he has no knowledge or thought of your pain; less of your hatred. It is your life that shrinks, whose time is wasted, storing the pain.

On that day you finally meet your offender again, he will often not have remembered the offense and will have good feelings for you. His life has not been changed, only yours.

When you change your thinking and give up the pain you hold dear, you find time and a lightness of heart you forgot existed. Your life becomes joyful again.

May I suggest, “turn the other cheek” as the Christians would say, or allow Karma to repay the debt? Revenge and hatred isn’t worth the pain.

I just wrote about a man who had committed a terrible sin. As he confronts the woman he threatened years later, I thought he would attempt the same awful act upon her. Instead, she honestly forgave him of his crime against her. His actions were low and small; he suffered significantly for them, banned from his home community, lost his wife, and spent years starving. She felt compassion for him. He changed his thoughts, began to believe he could live happily among his people, and changed his ways, becoming an honorable man.

There is one Eve never forgave, never trusted. The Destroyer, Satan. In his every action, he caused pain and sorrow for Eve and every other. He convinced beloved children to leave home and the beliefs taught by their father. He put it into the hearts of a loving son to kill his brother. Satan caused Eve incredible grief.

In all, however, she did not hate Satan for beguiling her, though his actions were absolutely wrong. I firmly believe the act of partaking of the fruit of the Tree of Good and Evil was necessary;  it was not Satan’s right to offer the fruit, to convince Eve of her need to eat it. That was for another. The eating brought Adam and Eve into this world, allowing them to obey the greater command, to “multiply and replenish the earth.” Eve new this was needed, it was better to suffer in this world of sin and sorrow, and have an opportunity to have children. We, my friends, are direct results of that decision.

I do not know how to protect our marvelous free nation from the hatred that seems to be spawned by Sharia Law and others. I do not know the answers. I do know there must be a way, while maintaining our integrity. If you have ideas, feel free to share.

Whom do you feel a need to forgive? Is there someone for whom your hatred has grown too large? Take a moment and consider the gift of forgiveness. If you like, I will be happy to hear of your journey.

NOTE: I have noticed many comments on the last page of this website. I appreciate your comments; I am happy to hear the things you have to say about my writing. However, IF you look at the top of this blog, directly beneath the title and on the right, you will see the words “LEAVE A COMMENT.” If you click there, comments will be added to this page, not the last page of my website. PLEASE do read through all the pages of the website. But it helps me if you comment on this page. Also, feel free to contact me through the “CONTACT US” page. Click on “CONTACT US” in the menu, top black band, far right. I’ll be happy to communicate with you.
Thanks so much!

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What Would You Do If Faced With a Murderer?

I am writing earlier than usual, partly because of the shooting in the community college in Oregon. My heart goes out to the families of those who died and all who were injured. That was a terrifying day for these people and their families. Congratulations to the Veteran who charged him, taking shots. This man is a hero.

There have been conflicting reports about the killer, asking his victims if they were Christian, or religious, and shooting those who said they were, in the head. Those who did not admit to Christianity, or religion, were shot elsewhere, at first. Or so several accounts report.

This has caused me to think about how I would react in such a situation. If it was certain death if I admit to my belief in Christ, would I admit? I am not sure, I doubt I would know until I am actually faced with such a situation.

Perhaps I would be forgiven. if I denied to save my life, if I was certain I’d die if I did not deny. Perhaps not. I am not sure I would take that chance. I hope I would proudly stand and tell him a follower of Jesus Christ and place my trust in him.

My husband, who is retired Navy, says he would be like the Veteran who charged the shooter. He says he would not stand still and peacefully allow the shooter the opportunity to shoot at will. He would throw a chair or something. I hope I would have the sense to throw something, shove a desk into him, something.

I always sit in the front row in a classroom, I may not have an opportunity to do much more than stand tall and admit to my faith. I hope I would manage to shove a desk into him, something more than quietly be murdered for my faith.

I am saddened that the Destroyer, Satan, has such control over the minds of so many. People are murdered every day in our country. Sometimes, like Thursday, it happens to many in places that should be safe. In my community, a mother and her child were murdered in their home, that should have been safe. Satan rages in the hearts of some men and women.

I believe Eve knew much that would happen in our day. Her prophet husband, Adam, was given to know all that would happen to his sons and daughters until the end of time. That’s information prophets receive, though I know they would often prefer not to know. Eve, through Adam, knew about our time, how we have lost our faith in God, how many have given in to the wiles of the evil one. She must have wept bitterly when she learned of the future of her children.

There have been other horrific times, times of murder and wars. Our time rapidly joins the previous worst, as people are murdered for their faith, babies are murdered for convenience, and love is lost in the hearts of men and women.

Pray for peace in our land. Look into your heart. What will you do if you are faced with that question? Stand up for your faith and belief, or hide from it? I hope you, and I, can have the presence of mind to shove a desk or something at the murderer, as well.

I’d like to hear how you would respond. Please share.

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Women Have a Right to Feel Safe

20150810_210057The news isn’t full of the stories any more, they are much too commonplace. A girl or woman is attacked, sometimes raped, by a man who believes he has something to offer her, whether she is interested or not. If the woman or girl is lucky, someone steps up and prevents the action from becoming more. If not, she struggles with loss of security and self worth. Sometimes, even, her community of family and friends believe she had something to do with it, enticing the man in some way.

None of this is fair or right. Men have no right to force themselves on a woman for any reason, especially just because she is weaker, or beautiful, or dresses nice. No woman should have to fear the actions of a man, nor should she be held responsible in some way for his lack of control. Men are men, and they should behave as men, with respect for others, gentleness, and self control.

They are men, not boys; and boys, should behave like men in training, not as members of a mini-mob just because of their gender. Girls should be able to feel and be safe in school and school functions, church, and in homes of their friends. They should not have to be constantly aware of their actions in relationship to boys in their lives.

Yes, girls sometimes encourage bad behavior, and that behavior should be corrected, as well. But, a woman’s behavior or dress is no excuse for brutish, disrespectful, out of control behavior.

I have been working on book two of my series, Ancient Matriarchs. This book will tell the story of Seth’s wife. So far, it has gone well, I have written over half the rough draft. Until now. I am having trouble deciding how she will act under conditions I have not faced. I’ve visited with my wise husband and received good information, but I am still at a loss. I am hoping to hear from you, my readers, to give me some help.

She has had an incident involving a man who wants to push himself on her farther than she wants while her husband is gone. She is not raped, but she feels violated and her reputation is damaged.

Have you experienced this? How did you feel around men after this kind of incident? How did you act?

I really would appreciate your help! I welcome your comments on this.

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